beginning to dread mondays and wednesdays. it's the right thing dragging up all this old crap and talking about stuff we've NEVER talked about before. but GOD does it have to leave us so utterly f*cked up for the rest of the day?
charie called from upstairs earlier and didn't realize i was just below him. scared the crap out of me because he yelled so loud. so we go into panic mode and it pissed him off which of course just made it worse. so littles are crying, reese wants to cut, can't go for a cigarette because we'll wind up burning and all because we shit bricks over a loud voice. i mean, charlie apologized for getting mad. he knows it's a trigger but he got caught off guard just like i did. besides, it's got to be frustrating as hell feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around us because you never know when we might get scared over something tiny. he knows someone inside is scared of him but we don't know who, but even understanding as well as he does, i think it still hurts him. he's so gentle and to be feared makes him feel like his dad, which i won't even get into. reese, i know, wants to write since she's pretty much quit talking. i miss her input and fun btw... anyway, i'll scoot and give her space.
of the Crew