Tuesday, September 6, 2011

made it thru another day

6/18/2002



ever notice how when you're late somewhere you always get behind the q-tip head who's afraid to go over 35?
reese was going to talk to L and show her the poem, but first we left late, then had to run back home to get the poem (and stephanie's writings) so we start an hour long drive 20 minutes late. slow freakin jerks doing 45 in 55 and tourists doing 35 on the same road trying ot look for the plantations. you can only pass so many ppl before you realize there's no point.
then it gets better. we get stuck on the stupid bridge. takes the friggin drawbridge 15 minutes just to start moving! i am so sick of these old bridges and the ungodly amount of time it's taking to build the bigger ones.
so, almost 40 minutes late for a 75 minute appt.
sitting on the bridge reese was asking if there were enough tissues in the van to clean up with if she cut while we waited. then she decided to burn, but we talked her out of it. for now anyway...
but in the middle of this stepahnie is working up a full head of steam and cussing a blue streak. it's like reese just can't catch a break. no matter what she does or tries to do it either blows up in her face or like that little 14yo shitforbrains who trashed her the other day, she just get shit on when she's the last one to deserve it. there's a lady on one of the SI groups we're on who's DID too and stephanie is convinced that when she gets defensive and we've pissed her off, she intentionally addresses her posts to reese. reese has never been anything but nice. i've told her to get her head out of her ass, and marisa has hinted that she's hiding in her SI as a way to avoid dealing with the real stuff that caused her DID in the first place. so, does she, who KNOWS the importance of it, address me, the host, or the specific alter who's words pissed her off? no, she rips reese all the shit and then lies her ass off about it all the while screaming how she's the victim.
anyway, we make it to the appt and manage to avoid SI in the process and stephanie talked to L for the first time in months and vented about how pissed she is over reese getting ragged on.
the cool thing tho is that this was the first session in i don't know how long that we didn't need to crawl in bed and nap when we got home. being able to vent out loud and be validated for what we believe and how we handle things made a difference.

oh, and stephanie, who doesn't give a rat's ass what anybody thinks about anything she does, actually asked for an honest opinion about the first chapter, and even admitted to not knowing how to handle wanting it to a favorable review. :) miss invunerable finally let her guard down a bit. hehehehe she's going to rip me an new ass (so to speak) for saying that, but hey, it's true! and a little goofy revenge would lighten things up a bit.

shit... okay, the sleeping meds are kicking in and we can barely keep our eyes open.

on the upside, L thinks the writing is awesome and was seriously encouraging about finding an editor to help get it all together. it's not going to be coming out in chronological order, but it'll be put together right, but just from the way she talked... and from stuff other ppl have said, i guess we're, i don't know... unique? definitely different from anyone else they've treated. not in the DID itself, but i guess in how we see it and look at life maybe. guess i'll have to ask. the book will be different from any other about DID too, but we're not ready to explain why.

marisa and stephanie (who snuck in her somewhere)