Tuesday, February 28, 2012

damn damn damn damn damn damn damn

08/07/2002

damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn!!!!!!!

wow. that word just kind of flows off your fingers to the keyboard. LMAO.

the whole entry we tried to write was mostly just laughing about how stiff and formal and goofy the meeting came off sounding. samantha pretty much got it verbatim but it still sounded weird. the whole thing is pretty casual and we just kinda slouch around in one room and talk. no hand raising or shit like that and it's not like the lils just sit all quiet and still either. they get bored and start to fidget and stuff and levia has to try and keep them from squirming. it's pretty funny really but the way it looks in print is just kinda stupid, but guess it pretty much covers what went on.

the three of us (reese, stephanie, and marisa) did this whole co-consciousness thing awhile back and it was ok. the shit hit the fan back in like, april or so and we stopped. that was when we quit going to church but that's a whole long story. nobody did anything wrong. just that all the stuff from growing up seemed like it was echoed in church. the whole, can't do anything right, performance based acceptance shit. it was mostly just the way we were seeing it but still we had to get away til we could put some of this old crap to rest.

so a little while ago we talked about SI (keeping it to a minimum), going to the doc for bloodwork, sleeping and actually resting at the same time. we talked to charlie and told him what's really going on. he's going to try to let us know when he's getting really frustrated and we'll get the lils out of earshot so they don't get all triggered if he has to correct the kids or raises his voice or something. we're gonna talk some more in a minute.

it's weird how when it's all three of us charlie says we walk, talk, and look different than when it's just one of us at a time. charlie asked what it's like. geez, how do you explain it to a monomind? stephanie told him to just picture 3 people who usually live pretty separate lives in the same house suddenly being joined at the hip. that's how it feels in a way. yeah, we can do a bunch of stuff better together but still, it doesn't *feel* normal and takes getting used to and it's just WEIRD! ppppbbttthhhh.... time for bed. feels like we have a pretzel for a brain.