Sunday, February 19, 2012

Days Like This

7/20/2002
It's a total ADD day. Can't stay focused on anything for more than a few minutes. Flitting around the house like a hummingbird... start one chore, get distracted by something else, go there, get started, repeat...

Did manage to get the lawn mowed but forgot to take into account the probably 8 point drop in my iron level. That combined with temps in the mid-high 90's... thought my heart was going to burst from my chest after 5 minutes. So, did a section, went inside, sat at the computer and goofed around until I caught my breath, worked on the downstairs rooms (see first paragraph) then went back outside. Managed to get the whole yard watered even... so add to that moving the sprinkler every hour or whenever someone remembered. The drought is so bad here that some of the grass just looked baked and even where it was green, was crunchy underfoot.

Shouldn't complain too much. i got a lot done. I just hate being so antsy. Charlie's had to work all day. He just called and announced that in the middle of dinner with the guys working for him, he got a call from the port and the systems are down yet again. Just as we were saying our 'I love yous' I said, see you tomorrow.He almost didn't catch the teasing about not even making it home tonight. I HOPE he's not there all night!

  A good friend of ours from a DID chat room is coming Tuesday morning to stay for about 10 days. We have not seen them in 11 months. It will be interesting to see how my sweetie does with two of us in the house! I might as well buy the pack of name tags now.

  My only concern about the visit is that our friend's body is female and every host alter since forever is a male... how to explain this to the kids? In addition, there is the whole gay issue. No problem here, but the friend borders on militant and our kids are admittedly sheltered about such things. I have prepared the girls so they are not too much of a concern. The boys on the other hand...my friend behaves and sounds totally male but you don't have to look hard to realize they aren't.

Now that John has reached an age of awareness about the differences between girls and boys, I am just praying that John doesn't say anything that will make us want to shrivel up and disappear. Kids have a way of doing that, you know.

Daniel, being not quite eight is also at the magical age between becoming observant about things and learning when not to speak. My oldest once yanked up my shirt in a grocery store to tell the clerk “Mommy feeds my baby sister with her boobs just like a bottle!” Kids can embarrass you better than anyone can.

Being in panic clean mode in preparation for this visit reminds me, Mum tells a story about when they were trying to adopt me. The woman from catholic charities called to announce the home visit and so mum had my five older brothers and my older sister scrambling around the house picking things up and hiding them behind closed doors. When the woman arrived, they had tea and small talk then she told Mum she wanted to tour the house. Mum started to take her around but the woman asked the kids to do it... they opened every door and drawer for this woman to see. Mum was mortified and certain they would never allow her to adopt. She was not sure she would not lose the kids she had. For all the crap that happened over the years, i have to admit they agonized and jumped thru hoops to adopt me. No matter what may have occurred in later years, one thing is (thank god for hindsight) I was wanted. It is hard to remember that sometimes, but the truth is still there.