Friday, February 24, 2012

Hanging In There


8/1/2002



Charlie, in his 'good morning' time with the girls, went out of his way to speak to the sleeping children. It was somewhat funny because they were responding to him in various non-verbal ways while I was snoring away, still very asleep. What he told them was it was safe and encouraged that they begin to come forward if they choose....

Not too different from opening Pandora’s Box.

You would think he'd know by now to be careful.

So now there are no less than six 'new' ones (we only say new because they have never identified themselves) who are jostling for position up front to see what is going on. It’s kind of like being in line with everyone pushing to get through a doorway so narrow only one person can get through at a time. While in that doorway, and even while in the room they are in, I can hear every word spoken. Once they get through the doorway, either I am pushed out or we share the space of 'consciousness', meaning we are both aware of the world outside our mind.

This can get rather confusing. Especially when it's not the time or place for anyone but bigs to be out. (bigs= alters over the age of 16...teens= alters between 13-15...middles= alters from 8-12...littles= anyone 7 or younger) Since all of the sleeping children that we're becoming aware of range in age from 4-15, it's not exactly possible to let them out at their whim. There are too many responsible mommy things to be done right now.

It will be okay. It is just tiring and frustrating. It’s also comical if I can step back and see some of the silly things I’ve done in my confusion over the last couple of days. My kids have taken to identifying themselves because I can't remember their names. Thankfully, they think it's funny. Yesterday I made John his Ovaltine, then tried to give the sippy cup to Harley. Why? I don't know! But it was funny. I am also finding myself with a severe case of aphasia. I’ll substitute a word like bathroom when what I mean is refrigerator. It’s happening no less that 30 times a day, so I am pretty certain I sound like a babbling idiot when I try to give one of the kids directions. 'Rachel, I need you to go put all the clean laundry in the trash.' At least we can still find the moments of humor here.

Taking everyone to a petting zoo today. Between my kids, Harley, another DID friend who lives 1/2 hour from us, and me... this should be interesting. Kristen will probably expect hazard pay if everyone's littles are out at the same time!

Marisa