Thursday, March 1, 2012

MULTIPLE WORLD



PRESS RELEASE: UNIVERSAL STUDIOS WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO THEIR NEWEST AMAZING THEME PARK: MULTIPLE WORLD

Located in a half acre lot behind a McDonald s in Orlando Florida, this five sq. mile park will dazzle your imagination and take you beyond the limits of reality. Enclosed entirely in a crystal palace (Please no stones in the park), Multiple World is designed with the idea of giving singletons a walk through the world of Multiple Personality Disorder. Admission is a mere $150 for a 50 minute tour or $2000 for the entire day, institutional style meals included. Sorry, no group discounts available. Sharps and dangerous items will be checked at the entrance and returned upon leaving.

With a state of the art sound system, you can experience the excitement of each and every sound and voice you hear, coming from within your own head. Also available are Fog and Tunnel Vision Glasses for those daring individuals really ready to live on the edge of Multiplicity.

As you enter the park you can try your hand at medical-ese and psychobabble in Shrink Rap. From there you can stop at the Grooming Room. A slot machine that determines your dress, hair and or makeup for the day or hour. Each possible result comes with a card explaining the logic behind the choice. Frequent use is recommended for a more realistic adventure.

The Switch is a futuristic teleporting device that can randomly drop you at any location within the park. Watch out for these as the teleporting discs are concealed throughout Multiple World. You never know when you may stumble onto one.

Enter Pandora's Box and experience every human emotion imaginable in this 60 second thrill ride, or try The Mood Swing for a yo-yo ride of your life through the highest highs and the darkest depths as you swing seemingly uncontrollably from one to the other.

Not for the Squeamish is Freefalling Flashbacks. An IMAX style theatre that will leave you breathless as it draws you in and makes it all seem as if you are actually there. One of the most frightening rides in the known world, Crossfire puts you directly in the middle of the battle over the validity of DID and Recovered Memories, with Psychiatrists, Counselors, Clergy and Laymen coming at you from all sides.

Don't miss the Depersonalization Chamber and Derealization Room where you can actually watch yourself from the ceiling as you float thru zero-gravity chambers just like the astronauts use. Lighting effects create varying degrees of heightened or dulled color and sharpness. Both rooms are pressurized with a high concentration of pure oxygen to create just the right sense of unreality. The challenge in DC and DR is to reconnect with and control your own body in order to reach the exit, where a normal sense of reality will be restored. Trained staff members are available for anyone needing assistance getting grounded again. For those who need that personal touch, huggers and hand-holders are also available.

For the inner child in you we have Littles Alley with a 5 acre playground built for the adult sized body and an 8 story Toy Shoppe with more toys than New York's FAO Schwartz. There is also the Littles Kitchen where you can whip up any combination of odd foods without protest or complaints from those around you. Check your stuffies at the door and bring a change of clothes for the Food Fight Ring, or for those with quieter interests, Finger Painting Fancy. There is the ever popular Craft Shack where you can make and take your creations home with you. Possibly our most popular attractions within Littles Alley are the life-sized Barbie Playhouse and the Hot Wheels Race Tracks.

Elders Row is lined with front porch rockers for those who like to just sit and reminisce about the good old days, or share their words of wisdom and old fashioned storytelling. Crocheted afghans and lap robes available upon request. Corn cob pipes can be purchased in the General Store. Join in a game of checkers with your peers and relax while the youngsters play.

Don't miss the many cities within the city of Poly-Fragmentation Station. Pick up a map at the entrance as the twists and turns can be confusing.

In the Bigs Arcade you can choose from prehistoric to outer galaxy environments for your inner world, or even decorate an existing community. Other games include the pinball games Spending Spree and Watch The Clock. You can fight your way through mountains of red tape in the Virtual Reality game Benefits?, find a qualified therapist in the maze of the T-Zone or dodge the labels in Borderline. The adventureous can risk it all in the casino with such games of chance and skill as Mind Control, Family Therapy, and DSM IV. Watch out for the infamous roulette game of Triple T (Therapeutic Tools & Techniques) where your future depends on a spin of the wheel.

Countless more activites can be found in the Middles Treehouse and the Teens Tavern, including the Rage Room, SI Sanctuary, Trigger Tank, Meds Melee and the new and improved Group Therapy Game.

Don't forget to bring those infants to the Safe Haven Nursery for that special time of comfort and rest all babies need.

There is a specially designed Lookout for those Protectors who wish to keep an eye out and a Significant Others Lecture Hall for those wanting to learn how to put up with it all. Even animal alters have their own place within Multiple World. The Range has everything from rain forests and deserts to exercize wheels for the smallest of critters.

Multiple World has been designed with the tightest security possible for your safety. Please respect our litter laws as the staff of Multiple World have all the clutter and garbage they can handle. Special Discount passes may be available through your insurance company but watch out for those HMO pre-certification rules. We look forward to seeing all of you when we open in late 2002.

PRESS RELEASE END

Editor's Note: Due to possible health risks and lack of focus group approval, The Ward, a realistic hospital atmopsphere, has been dismantled. Multiple World regrets any panic this potential exhibit may have caused.