Monday, January 20, 2014

and the redneck soap opera finally concludes


as the golden boy finally tells them to shove their heads up their asses and jump...

okay, so we'll try to tell the story without going too deeply into past history... WARNING: it's not a short story, no matter how hard we try so be prepared. writing this out is something we need to do for us, so if you get bored we won't be offended.

first, the upside to all of this:
1) charlie has finally been able to break the emotional ties of a controlling and extraordinarily destructive family. this is not the only *dead weight* he's had to drop in the last year but represents the final tie. it frees him to heal and continue moving forward in every aspect of his life. he's worked damn hard and deserves this peace.
2) this episode allowed me to see that while we laid down the guilt we felt for being what his family called 'the wedge that destroyed their happy family', we never expressed the grief and anger 16 years of this has caused. having recognized it is there, we are free to process it and move on.
3) it has served as a reminder that family isn't about blood, but about relationship. we know who our real family is.
4) we handled an extremely volatile situation with grace, maturity and calm. that all by itself is testimony to how very far we've come. three years ago, we'd have either crumbled and wound up in a hospital or been charged with assault and battery with intent to kill. as little as a year ago it would have triggered us bloodletting to near death and created an emotional turmoil that would have taken us six months to come down from.

so with the positive acknowledged, we can now get to the juicy part.

all this started over a 40 foot storage container on charlie's mother's property. it belongs to us and mama was more than willing to let us store some things belonging to a friend until they find a house (a few weeks tops) she even commented on what a perfect situation it was because it was in a safe place so far out in the woods by her house that NO one would look there and because it had space enough. that was sunday when we first talked to her about it.

now here's where we get to talk about wendy. the person we've fantasized about for the last 24 hours hoping she'll show up at our house and pull her threatening routine where we can legally beat the shit out of her. it's terrible, i know, but it's only a dream and we have LOADS of justifiable anger.

wendy is charlie's oldest nice. she's 30 and one of the wonderful people we mentioned in the entry about teen mothers. she is an untreated bi-polar in one hell of a manic phase, which in her case makes her abusive, controlling and flat out dangerous. well this stable little chick now has charlie's mom, who's never known anything but abuse, under her absolute control. mama can't abide anyone being mad and she will inevitably side with the person she's most afraid of. in this case, it's wendy. wendy's parents kicked her out, her latest boyfriend kicked her out and some idiot thought it would be a good idea to put her in a camper behind mama's trailer so she could 'take care of mama'. what that really means is her parents didn't want to see her go to a shelter so they sent her over to mama because mama's a professional doormat and they knew she'd agree.

wendy's been living in a camper behind mama's trailer for the last 3 weeks or so. charlie went over and helped hook it up and everything because no one in his family can find their ass with a map and compass, so if it's more difficult than just plugging something in, it's *junior* (charlie) to the rescue. it's amazing at times the amount of ass kissing that goes on when they need him. especially compared to the viciousness that goes on behind his back.

so, tuesday afternoon i call mama and let her know we're coming over. i can hear wendy's voice in the background though she later claims mama called her to come from 'over yonder' to deal with me, and that she wasn't there when i called, totally ruining her afternoon. (pity pity) mama launches into this thing about how there's no room in this enormous container, (the size of a boxcar). i was not in the mood for mamaness that day so i immediately said, no problem. we'll just rent a storage facility.

mama jumps back in saying that no, that's not what she meant, just that who are these people and she doesn't even know them (wendy's been telling her that my friend wants to park their stuff indefinitely and have access to the useless crap mama has in there as well as wendy's stuff. after all there is a high black market rate for old furniture that smells like stale smoke and dog pee) again, i tell her it's no problem, we'll rent storage somewhere else. *again* she tries to tell me that no, that's not what she wants. it's just that she's going in for surgery (minor) on monday and she can't be lifting anything. she's 71 years old! we had already told her we'd do all the work. she doesn't have to lift a thing. *again* i say, forget it mama, we'll RENT one. she then says, well i don't know how much room is in there. and since charlie gave it to me (for the entire family to use as needed) and i don't feel comfortable with this, but you can come see how much room there is if you want. this is an example of mama's typical behavior. the perpetual victim and somehow through this conversation i forced her to agree.

harley and i head over there with the uhaul. first thing i notice is wendy has moved her truck to barricade the container. as i'm parking my van, she comes flying off the porch with charlie's younger brothers's ex-wife. (who is part of the family by virtue of the fact that she can't afford to lose her source of income (mama's handouts) so has shoved her head so far up mama's ass that if mama farts monica's ears wiggle.

wendy comes at the truck swinging her arms and yelling for us "to back on up and get the hell off the property". harley stays by their truck while i walk over toward the container. mama gave me permission to look. that was my plan.

wendy and monica come storming over to me and wendy announces that mama doesn't want us there and if we don't leave, wendy will call the police.

okay... starting to panic, so will come back to this later.