Wednesday, January 1, 2014

my kids are gonna hate me for this...


 there are a lot of reasons i love being a mom. reasons that go beyond the hugs and sticky faced kisses. reasons that go beyond the heart warming tales of first laughs and first days of school. there is so much more to it than the stuff you find in inspirational books and hallmark cards. quite frankly, there is nowhere else on earth i could find so much to laugh about but in being a parent.

after a weekend of taking 'my job' a few years ago, reese commented that she'd learned more about being a mom in three days than she had ever wanted to know. where else can you hear such sincere compliments as; "mommy, when i grow up i want to have nice long boobs like yours." (kristie, age 4) or this one; "mommy, you have a nice big butt cuz you don't fall in the potty." (becca, age 3) and then of course there is, "don't feel bad mom. when i'm your age i'll be old too." (rachel, age 9) where else but as a parent can you rejoice in the wonderful new discoveries? "mommy look. this is my pee-pee and if i slap it up it bounces!" *followed by demonstration*, (daniel, age 4) and "it's just like a squirt gun mommy!" (john, age 4 demonstrating his prowess in the potty).

kristen at age 2 was facinated by the equipment of our male yorkshire terrier who never quite realized he'd be better off not sleeping on his back. I'll never forget the day she woke him from a nice nap by grabbing him and asking me "what's this?" she is also the child that delighted in telling total strangers that mommy fed her "baby sister becca rae with her boobs just like a bottle!"

There is indescribable pride in watching your son use the men's room by himself, even if he does come back out with his pants around his ankles for you to help him get them back up.

nowhere else on earth can you hear so many variations on the english language. shortly after rachel's birth, kristen asked, "mommy, next time you get pregnick, will you go to the hos-tible in a ambleance?" john's newest word is nuh-fused (confused). sweet daniel had trouble pronouncing the sound for 'tr'. the day he threw a tantrum in k-mart for a "f*ck! i wanna f*ck!" is a day that will live on in memory forever. it was always fun to have company over when kris would ask to watch her favorite movie, the little mermaid. she called it the fish movie, but to the untrained ear, it always sounded like bitch. to this day i can no longer pronounce the word caterpillar correctly because in 12 years we've had 5 different variations of it, from callapitter to patakiller.

nowhere is logic more flexible or outright abandoned than in the mind of a child. at no other time in life will they be as literal as when they are small. after a warmth spread over the legs of a friend reading to daniel, she asked if he needed to use the bathroom. his response was, "not anymore." my oldest girls (aged 5 and 2) played beauty shop one morning and chopped each other's hair off. when asked if they had cut rachel's hair, kristen's response was "we couldn't get her into the bathroom." thank god for small favors. i've learned that if chemicals in a firefly's hind end are responsible for its luminescence, then it stands to reason that "chemicals are a mixture of butts."

there are such joys in this job. so today as i wade thru the mountains of toys and debris in their rooms to attempt something resembling order, i'll try to remind myself why it is we chose a large family.

we must be brain damaged.