Sunday, January 5, 2014

randomly reading entries

8/23/2002

is not the best idea for us. last night we came across the diary of a fifteen year old proclaiming that she was not only mature enough to be a mom, but that she'd be a good one now and plans to try immediately for one.

we came across another diary with an entry title that said "children of rape deserve to die"... while the entry went on to bash prolifers... it never addressed the actual title. well, we are a child of rape, and excuse me but no child should be forced to pay for the evil their parent(s) may do. we understand people who make that choice, but the sensationalist entry title was designed to do nothing more than inspire controversy and that alone pissed us off huge. we won't go into any further detail on this subject.

as for intentional teenage motherhood... we have yet to meet a girl who got pregnant before the age of 17 who had the first clue what she was getting into. 3 of our 4 nieces on charlie's side of the family have done just that. 2 did so knowing it would force their parents to allow them to marry their life's love. the other is living with her mom and due in the next few weeks.

the first to do this now has 13 and 6 yo sons. after 10 years of marriage to her knight in shining armor (who cheated like a dog, constantly) she divorced him. she decided only a few months ago that the children who would love her as she had never been loved, were too much a pain in the ass and gave full custody to their father (as punishment to him). she moved into a camper (not a trailer) on my m-in-law's property this weekend so she can have her bills paid and essentially keep mama company in exchange for room and board, rather than get a job and finish growing up. in 12 years of legally being an adult, she has yet to provide for herself or her family without mommy and daddy meeting their financial commitments.

the second of these girls is the first's younger sister. she too, needed to get free from her parents and believed a child would make that possible. her 8 yo son has lived with her and his father in a trailer that 10 years ago, when my family stayed there temporarily, was uninhabitable. the trailer is in one of the most hideous and disreputable parks in the county. neither of his parents has held a job for more than 2 weeks in his lifetime. they subsist on her mommy and daddy's handouts and spend what little money they get on pot, to help them forget where they are. this desperately wanted child has been raised in abject poverty and roach ridden filth his entire life.

the third of my nieces, like her cousins before her, was an honor student bound for a great college. sadly her upbringing was not conducive to that. she, herself is the product of teenage pregnancy. both her and her older sister being born well before their mom turned 18. now three times married mom cannot accept that her choices have anything whatsoever to do with her daughter getting pregnant and to this day swears that being a teenage mother helped her to do a better job than her own parents. ummm, yeah, right. we had 2 foster daughters 9 years ago. they were sisters who stayed with us for a few weeks at separate times as a last resort to juvie. both, after moving to mississippi after the death of their mom, became pregnant. neither girl has managed to get off welfare yet. of about 17 teenage moms we've known in the last 16 years, not one has achieved more than a tech degree, or been able to support herself or her child on her own, ever.

yes, it happens. there are many success stories of young women who made the decision to have their baby and have since gone on to college degrees, successful careers and relationships. not one we have ever read or heard about did so without being tied to her parents support, and not one sought getting pregnant.

we're sick to death of little girls who refuse to believe how selfish and immature it is to have a child because they 'need' someone to fill the void of love in their lives. sick to death of seeing little girls intentionally bring children who will live with poverty, addiction, and all other forms of abuse stemming from emotionally wounded parents, into this world. you have stars in your eyes now, but you condemn yourself and your child. being DID we can attest to the fact that anything in your own life that is hidden or unhealed, will come back to bite you in the ass through your kids. that happens because as much as we hate to admit it, our woundedness finds it's way to them thru our own denial.

okay, rant over. please remember this is our diary and we have a right to express our views here, just as you express yours. anyway, random diary reading is obviously not a good idea for us, wouldn't you say?

marisa