Friday, February 7, 2014

absotively confuzzled

9/15/2002

so... mama had her surgery on thursday. she had two hernias removed using laporoscopy (sp?). we knew we wouldn't be able to go see her or to have anyone call and let us know what was going on so we kept in touch with the pastor and church secretary who spent some time with her that day. she came thru fine and oddly enough, wendy was not at the hospital at any time during her stay...

saturday the phone rang with charlie's brother's number. after a quick internal debate we went ahead and answered. it was mama. she called to let us know she's staying at jerry's for the time being and that she's okay. she sounded groggy and likely looped on pain meds (no matter how minor they call that surgery, we've had it too and it HURTS!) but insistent that i tell charlie she's at jerry's house.

*pause for massive confusion*

since this is mama, it's a given that she wasn't wanting to just tell us her whereabouts. mama truly expects everyone to be fluent in 'between the lines' even when it's as illegible as hers.

so, her call could have meant several things. now the task (should we accept it) is to figure it out. if she's at jerry's, then there is no way in heck that wendy is there as she is no longer welcome in her parent's house.

but isn't wendy mama's self-appointed guardian? if so why is *she* not the one taking care of her post-op?

maybe (and we have to guess since no one actually COMMUNICATES in this family) jerry took some responsibility and realized his daughter is the last person who can care for mama's health properly.

still, after the mess of a few weeks ago and the very pointed forwarding of junk mail (the post office got the various family members mixed up some time ago so junk mail goes all over.) when we generally exchange that stuff at church, why is she now calling?

granted, she will feel very unloved if charlie doesn't go fuss over her... so maybe she's asking?

maybe she's trying to let him know that since he refuses to set foot near her home as long as wendy is there, that she's away from home and wants to see him?

it's doubtful she wants to *talk* to him because she is (not to be mean) just incapable of admitting a mistake, but maybe if charlie goes over she can try to save face in all this.

then again, jerry and glinda (this family is SO south) are probably hoping to mediate here. of course they won't let charlie know that, *if* that were the case, because that's just not the way it works...

now here's the kicker. charlie really really doesn't want to talk to her anymore. neither do i really... for all the excuses i can make about her wacky behavior, the fact that she confirmed to charlie that she never really loved or wanted me in the family, well, hurts like hell. i can't trust myself (or stephanie for that matter) not to bluntly confront her on that. especially after she finished up her call on friday with "i love you." (which is it mama? do you or don't you? i have enough lies to deal with thank you very much!)

soooooo.... what do i do?

nothing... i know. there's nothing to do but pray really.

she's charlie's mom and as much as it hurts to see him going thru this, he is the one who has to decide. my job is to love and support him either way.

well, that and ignore the phone if it's from any family member. mama will call when charlie's not likely to be home because she knows i won't tell her off and hang up.

as far as we're concerned... the surest proof that darwin was wrong is that charlie came from this family and isn't an unbridled psychopath. how anyone could live 42 years even being related to this and be a productive and functioning adult is almost proof that God exists, because in nature, he'd have killed them already.