Sunday, February 23, 2014

and now for something completely different

9/26/2002

Time for some fun. We can't do this serious shit all the time, so I'm going to share with you my keychain collection. Together we have well over a hundred but my favorites are the ones with sayings on them. Enjoy.

Stephanie

Because I'm the Mommy that's why. (On Marisa's keys)
I didn't lose the keys. This time I lost the whole damn car (Also on Marisa's keys)
Beware! Mood subject to change without notice
I'm one of the bad things that happen to good people
Don't look at me in that tone of voice
Now is NOT a good time to annoy me
Don't annoy the crazy person
Which of my personalities do you find offensive?
I hear voices and they don't like you
I live in my own little world but it's okay. They all know me here
Go away! You're freaking me out
Mom's taxi (obviously Marisa's)
BACK OFF! I'm stressed to kill
It's been lovely but I have to SCREAM now
Let me make it simple for you. NO!
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits
I see dumb people
Stupid people shouldn't breed
Stupid should be painful
One by one the penguins steal my sanity
Was today really necessary?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
You're village called. Their idiot is missing
You're depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Chaos, Panic, and Disorder. My job here is done
I wish I was like you, easily amused
I'm suffering like the rest of them
Maybe I don't FEEL like smiling
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
Why be difficult when you can be impossible?
Don't go away mad. Just go AWAY!
If I were any lazier, I'd be in a coma
I can't have a crisis today. My schedule is full
I've upped my standards. Now up YOURS
I only look sweet and innocent
You WISH
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person
Is that your face or did your neck throw up?
Shock me. Say something intelligent
I used to be disgusted. Now I'm just amused
Just visiting this planet
Reality is the leading cause of stress
I don't have PMS. I'm just naturally mean
I have PMS and a gun. What was your question?
Just another lousy day in paradise
World's Best Friend Award (From Harley and the JstArk system) Finally, my personal favorites:
Hi! How are you? That's nice. Now get out of my way before I kill you!
GROUND RULES: DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T STARE AT ME, DON'T TALK TO ME
If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to EITHER of YOU for the rest of the day

and

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ASS