Thursday, March 13, 2014

sorta kinda maybe a little bit okay


spoke with both dr. c and lyn by phone today. a rarity. both reassured me they are available by phone if we need them. a huge thing for us because we've been told so many times by others that they will not talk to us when we're having a bad time. even after the diagnosis... we have a long history of just wearing people out til they can't stand the thought of us anymore. so as soon a we get panicky or can't get grounded, the idea of picking up the phone to call someone just makes it worse.

spent hours last night going thru newspapers and magazines looking for pics and words to do a collage. sat down tonight and got it done. impressed we got thru it.

feeling a lot like the little girl in miracle on 34th street...i believe, i believe, it's silly but i believe. that's where we've been today. we'll get thru this, we'll get thru this, doesn't feel like it, but we'll get thru this...

writing helps so we'll be around, but plan to spend as much of the weekend sleeping as possible.

by the way... thanks for the warmth shown to amelia. she/we learned to read at 4 and she's pretty darn independant about writing things herself. hates having to ask for help... another common thread in this system.

we'll get there. we'll get there. it seems damn far away but we'll get there.