Friday, May 30, 2014

chalk up another mega-bitch moment...

the friend we wrote a letter to a few weeks ago asking for time and space, has begun sending occasional 'fwd fwd fwds' to us. no problem, we generally delete those anyway, no matter who they are from. just seemed odd (an emotional game actually) that they would start up right after the letter telling her we needed time.
today, we get the IM. how are you? after a few moments decided not to ignore her knowing how much it had hurt us when she did. we wound up chatting for a few minutes. she asked how our writing was going... a topic that a few weeks ago was triggering for her... we said it was good and we were enjoying ourselves. she then asked if it was therapeutic or our book (which had we been able to discuss that, she would know was on hold). we told her it was both as well as other kinds of writing. she then asked if it was marisa or reese... i said it was marisa... she asked after reese... told her that reese was taking a break from chat (actually only from her)... she asked why... i responded that it was at her request.
well, that pretty much shut the lid on anymore chit chat.
trying not to get angry at her total and complete disrespect for our request that she give us space. find it incredibly childish for her to not only continue contacting us, but doing so while pretending nothing ever occured. that's a sore spot for us. if you hurt us, you will lose a measure of trust. in her case, she is so desperately unable to see herself as anything but the victim, she can't even acknowledge that her actions hurt us. that will not earn our trust back. nor will going out of her way to bring up subjects she has told us were off limits. of course there is the expectation that we immediately know this is her way of saying it's okay to talk about these things, but we've never been the sort to care for such avoidance of things. you have something to say, be UP FRONT about it. that kind of game playing just doesn't fly. i'll accept it from my kids because they are kids, but even then we try to teach them to learn different ways of communicating. 
motown is not my child and i will not mother her. that is what got us into trouble in the first place.
okay, so not doing a very good job of not being angry...
bottom line... we have more than enough on our plate without having to try reading motown's mind because she refuses to take responsibility for her actions or emotions. GRRRRRRR.... this kind of bullshit i expect from my 10 & 11 yo children. this is not the stuff of healthy adult friendships.
seriously considering resending the letter... better yet, we'll just rant to charlie when he gets home and maybe punch a pillow for awhile. have better things to do than let this consume us. bah
so we reached 300 entries the other day??? coooool. i feel special...