About Us

This is a little bit of information on The Crew and my family. It will help to have an idea of who is who.

Marisa: Wife to Charlie, Mother of Krys, Becka, Rachel, Daniel and John. Grandma to Dora & Caz (Krys's children) and Elena (Becka's child). Adopted as a newborn and one of nine kids.

Stephanie: 18, Protector and Designated BS detector. Stephanie's function was to deal with the deepest anger within The Crew. She came on the scene when Marisa was about 13, initially appearing as a character in a series of short stories. She preferred animals to people, Jack Daniels to Jim Beam, loud classic rock, driving and ranting. As she grew from a caricature of teen rebellion, she became a fiercely loyal friend with a sharp wit and unique perspective on life and our collective recovery. Stephanie was the last to fully integrate.

Reese: 17, Reese was the poet and a very sensitive soul. She was also the loving 'big-sister' to the younger members of The Crew. She hated conflict and served often as a peace-maker and diplomat, both within the system and in day-to-day life. She loved 80's music, art and photography, silly string and the occasional jello-jiggler fight. She had her own diary which will be posted as part of this one. In 2005 she self-published her poetry and art in a hand-bound volume titled "Pictures of Me". Reese often played the role of "co-host" and was among the last to integrate.

Teens: Several Crew members between the ages of 13-16. Most never identified with a name of their own. The various teens were often fragments, holding only a single event or series of memories. As they shared their stories, the often blended with a stronger alter. Some of the teens were mirror images of other alters. They used the non-dominant hand to write and wrote completely backward.

Stacy: 10, primary host until the age of 9. She believed she was dead for the better part of 22 years. When she reemerged, she was given the chance to choose her own name. She became the unofficial spokesperson for the littles in The Crew. She collected barbies and loved making paper snowflakes.

Cameo: 10, the mirror image of Stacy. Cameo spoke on very few occasions, preferring instead to write. Like some of the teens, she was left handed and used 'mirror' writing because it was 'safer' than speaking. She preferred not to be noticed but loved being hugged.

Amber: 10, stood in during the sexual abuse that occurred from ages 8-13. She loved juvenile fiction and stuffed animals. After her memories were shared and she was given the chance to be a little girl in safety, she blended with Stacy.

Laura: 8, and one of the 'sleeping children'. She was one of the last to be recognized though she had been around since age 7 or 8. She could speak and see but chose to communicate using the manual alphabet. She read and wrote using braille. She was given a braille slate and stylus which she loved and fiercely protected.

Amelia:  8, The embodiment of a typical little girl. Originally known as "Roo", she was the first of the littles to make herself known and often spoke for those younger than she. She was one of the stronger and more fully developed alters. Like Stephanie and Reese, she could come out and maintain control for extended periods of time. She loved coloring and crafts, hated cheaters at board games and befriended each of Marisa's five kids as well as littles from other systems.

Petra: 5. Amelia's Mirror image. She held some of the nastier childhood events, sharing them through drawings and whispered conversation. She was the first of the Mirror Children to emerge and the first to integrate. She and Amelia defined integration for us when, after they blended together, Amelia said "There is more of me now."

Suzie: 3. She held the earliest memories of abuse. She didn't speak at first, preferring to hide behind Amelia. When she emerged and shared her memories she learned to feel safe enough to snuggle with Charlie on Saturday mornings (what became littles' time) and liked to watch cartoons with him. She, along with several others in the Crew, was obsessed with all things Winnie the Pooh. She and Amelia were often closest during sleep and the reason several stuffed animals lived in the bed.

Hannah: 2. Hannah was initially 4 other pre-verbal alters. We were never clear on the exact details of their memories as they were primal and emotional. They joined as 1 in 2001 then later blended with Suzie.

Levia: Adult Inside Helper. She was the last alter created. In 1991, she formed to to be "The Wall" between Marisa and the entire system. Her creation was the result of a therapist who responded to clear evidence of DID by declaring it inner-child bullshit and something he would no longer accept in his office. The Wall was created as much for the alter's protection as mine. Levia was also the first to intentionally speak with others in 1999 when the Depressive cycle had become too overwhelming for her to keep her place. She 'interviewed' a friend in order to gauge the safety of allowing the others voice. After she stepped aside as The Wall, she took the role of Inside Helper, caring for the alters between the ages of 9-12. She eventually blended with Marisa.

Nancy: Adult Inside Helper who cared for the littlest of the littles. Named for a "Nancy Nurse" doll from childhood, she was the inside nanny. She eventually blended with Reese.

Samantha: Inside Helper and Record Keeper. She had access to all memories and often made the decision of what could be shared and when. She eventually blended with Stephanie.

The Sleeping Children: This was a name for all the unknown fragmented alters under the age of 13. They usually blended with a stronger alter once they emerged and shared their memories.


Charlie: My husband, best friend and Knight in Scruffy Loafers. We met in 1984 and married in 1986. He knew from the first year of our marriage that I was many and by 1991 knew several alters by name. He and I managed to pretend to each other until someone else finally saw what was going on and gave it a name. His response to hearing I might have DID was, "Does this mean we can finally talk about it?" Without Charlie, I doubt I'd have had a chance at life outside of an institution.

Krys: Oldest daughter. Born 1988. Married to Steve in 2009 and mother to Dora. Studying to be a Medical Assistant.

Becka: Born 1991. Mother of our oldest granddaughter, Elena. Planning to become a Mortician.

Rachel: Born 1992. Natural comic. Headed to college upstate to major in Theater Arts.

Daniel: Born 1994. He's his dad's Mini-me, though he'll never admit it. If he doesn't become a Lawyer, it will be a waste of argumentative talent.

John: Born 1997. Diagnosed with Autism in 2010. Inventor.

TREATMENT TEAM and others involved in diagnosis or mentioned as part of our past:

Pastor R: Former pastor of our family church. The first to recognize the possibility of DID. Responsible for getting me into treatment.

Pat: Pat and Pastor R were my church counseling team until I was in treatment with professionals specializing in trauma and DID.

Dr. P: First psychiatrist seen after the emergence of the alters in 1998. He diagnosed me and referred me to the two professionals who walked through recovery with me.

Dr. Crane: Psychiatrist specializing in addiction and DID. Doctor from 2000- present.

Lyn: Licensed Therapist specializing in trauma related issues. Therapist from 1999-2007.

Dr. Martin Stein: First inpatient doctor. Trigger for the creation of several teens. Narcissist. Lost his license in 2003. You can read more about him here